Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Fun Joke, Guess you had to be there.. lol

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous
redhead sitting at the next table.

He has been checking her out since he sat down,
but lacks the nerve to talk with her.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying
out of its socket toward the man.

He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air,
and hands it back.

"Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops
her eye back in place.
"Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says.


They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards
they go to the theatre followed by drinks.

They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams
and he shares his. She listens.

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like
to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast.

They had a wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooks him a gourmet meal with
all the trimmings.

The guy is amazed.
Everything had been SO incredible!

"You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman.

Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"


"No," she replies. . .



Wait for it. .....




The suspense is killing you, isn't it? LOL

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She says: "You just happened to catch my eye."




DK-Elite-Enterprises

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Happy Mothers Day! :) A Great Joke Especially for All the Mums'


THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES LOL ...

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car
and 3 kids each for six weeks.
Each kid will play two sports and either take music
or dance classes.
There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 3 kids;
keep his assigned house clean,
correct all homework, and complete science projects,
cook, do laundry, and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough money.
In addition, each man will have to budget in money
for groceries each week.
Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends
and relatives, and send cards out on time--no Emailing.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment,
a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the A & E.
He must also make biscuits or cakes for a social function.
Each man will be responible for decorating his own assigned house,
planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep
and all chores are done.

The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily,
adorn himself with jewellery, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes,
keep fingernails polished and eyebrows groomed.

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe
abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme,
unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down
from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time
at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

They will need to read a book to the kids each night and in the morning,
feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 8:00 am.
A test will be given at the end of the six weeks,
and each father will be required to know all of the following
information:
Each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size
and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth,
and length of labour, each child's favourite colour, middle name,
favourite snack, favourite song, favourite drink, favourite toy,
biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

All the above must be completed whilst working in either full time
(preferably) or part time employment to assist in the financial input
for the family.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.
The last man wins only if... he still has enough energy to be intimate
with his spouse at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over
and over again for the next 18-25 years eventually earning the right
To be called Mum!
LOL, I'm sure most Mothers' can relate to that one..
Hope you had a great Mums' Day!! Every day should
be Mothers day .. :)

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