HILARIOUS OLD MAN PICKING UP CHICKS ...
The look on their faces is priceless!
"You can't stay young forever...but you can be immature
as long as you want."
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Group Therapy LOL
Group Therapy
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy
session with five young mothers and their small
children.
"You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he said:
"You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he said:
"You are
obsessed with eating.
You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second Mum, Ann:
He turned to the second Mum, Ann:
"Your obsession is with money. It manifests
itself
in your children's names, Penny, Goldie and Frank."
He turned to the third Mum, Joyce:
He turned to the third Mum, Joyce:
"Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in
your children's names: Brandy and Sherry.
You even called the cat,
"Whisky".
He then turned to the fourth Mum June:
He then turned to the fourth Mum June:
"Your obsession is
with flowers.
Your girls are called Rose, Daphne & Poppy."
At this point, the fifth mother, Kathy, quietly got up,
At this point, the fifth mother, Kathy, quietly got up,
took her little boy by
the hand and whispered:
"Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea what
he's
talking about.
talking about.
Let's pick up Fanny and Willy and go home."
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Funny Joke - ouch... LOL
Tonsils
vs. Circumcision
Two little kids are in the hospital, lying on stretchers
next to each other outside the operating room,
the first surgeries of the
day.
The first kid leans over and asks,
The first kid leans over and asks,
"What are you in here
for?"
The second kid says,
The second kid says,
"I'm getting my tonsils out, and I'm
afraid."
The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry
The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry
about. I had
that done when I was four.
They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they
give you lots of Jelly and ice cream. It's a breeze."
The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"
The first kid says, "Circumcision."
"Whoa!" the second kid replies, "Good luck, buddy.
The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"
The first kid says, "Circumcision."
"Whoa!" the second kid replies, "Good luck, buddy.
I had
that done when I was born.
Couldn't walk for a year."
LOL
Monday, September 10, 2012
Some Funny Definitions of 'OLD'
Well, I am not that old yet ......
(although if you asked a 12 year old, they would think so)
I thought these were funny!
It's scary when you start making the same noises
as your coffee maker .....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and
told her preacher she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated and second,
she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
"Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed!!
"Why Wal-Mart?
"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me
twice a week"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My friend quietly confided to her best friend that she was
having an affair.....
She turned to her and asked, "Are you having it catered"?
And that, my friend, is a sad definition of 'OLD'!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman,
"And what do you think is the best thing
about being 104?" the reporter asked.
She simply replied, "No peer pressure"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Know how to prevent sagging?
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club
and start exercising....
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down,
and perspired for an hour.
But, by the time I got my leotards on,
the class was over.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people
(although if you asked a 12 year old, they would think so)
I thought these were funny!
It's scary when you start making the same noises
as your coffee maker .....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and
told her preacher she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated and second,
she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
"Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed!!
"Why Wal-Mart?
"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me
twice a week"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My friend quietly confided to her best friend that she was
having an affair.....
She turned to her and asked, "Are you having it catered"?
And that, my friend, is a sad definition of 'OLD'!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman,
"And what do you think is the best thing
about being 104?" the reporter asked.
She simply replied, "No peer pressure"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Know how to prevent sagging?
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club
and start exercising....
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down,
and perspired for an hour.
But, by the time I got my leotards on,
the class was over.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to
run into the ones I do, and
the eyesight to
tell the difference.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sunday, September 2, 2012
10 FUNNY BABIES VIDEO
One of my fav' videos for a good laugh,
and way too cute .....
Beware! The laughter in this video is highly
and way too cute .....
Beware! The laughter in this video is highly
contagious ... ROFL
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