Mammagrams are never fun! , This story is funny though! Had my first one a few weeks back & not pleasant at all.. So men if you think you have it rough, think again .. LOL A lady, who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician, said , "Your Honour, I'm guilty but..... there were extenuating circumstances. " The female Judge said, sarcastically, "I'd certainly like to hear those extenuating circumstances." I did too so, I listened as the lady told her story. "Your Honour, I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually kept. I was met by this perky little clipboard carrier smiling from ear to ear and she tilted her head to one side and said.... "Hi! I'm Melinda! All I need you to do is step into this room here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown. Is everything clear?" I'm thinking, "Melinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science." Melinda then skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors. With the right side finished, Melinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, "Hmmmm.
Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a bit so we can get everything?
" Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck to finish me off?
My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged
between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when I heard and felt a zap! Then Complete darkness, the power went off!
Melinda said, "Uh-oh, maintenance is working, bet they hit a snag." & Then she headed for the door. "Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vice alone are you?" I shouted.
Melinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. & I'll be right back." Before I could shout NOOOO! She had disappeared.
And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, "maintenance men Extraordinaire" found me... half-naked with part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass! After exchanging a polite ... Hi, how's it going type greeting, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off. ?????? Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible,
"Uh, yes, I did, but thanks anyway." "OK, you take care now" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the supermarket . Two hours later, Melinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am sooo sorry!
The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And oops silly me,
I went to lunch.
Are we upset?"
And that, Your Honour, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps...." The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said "Case Dismissed!
How is that? Women will relate to that I'm sure, and men count yourselves lucky!
Truly ... Imagine if they did that with your body parts to check for certain stuff!..
Bet that hurts just thinking about it ! LOL ..
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