Happy Mothers Day! :) A Great Joke Especially for All the Mums'

THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES LOL ...

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car

and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take music

or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 3 kids;

keep his assigned house clean,

correct all homework, and complete science projects,

cook, do laundry, and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough money.

In addition, each man will have to budget in money

for groceries each week.
Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends

and relatives, and send cards out on time--no Emailing.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment,

a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the A & E.
He must also make biscuits or cakes for a social function.

Each man will be responible for decorating his own assigned house,

planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep

and all chores are done.

The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily,

adorn himself with jewellery, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes,

keep fingernails polished and eyebrows groomed.

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe

abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme,

unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down

from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time

at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

They will need to read a book to the kids each night and in the morning,

feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 8:00 am.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks,

and each father will be required to know all of the following

information:

Each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size

and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth,

and length of labour, each child's favourite colour, middle name,

favourite snack, favourite song, favourite drink, favourite toy,

biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

All the above must be completed whilst working in either full time

(preferably) or part time employment to assist in the financial input

for the family.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.

The last man wins only if... he still has enough energy to be intimate

with his spouse at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over

and over again for the next 18-25 years eventually earning the right

To be called Mum!

LOL, I'm sure most Mothers' can relate to that one..

Hope you had a great Mums' Day!! Every day should

be Mothers day .. :)

HAPPY EASTER TO ALL ...

Hope Everyone, had a Fun, Safe & Happy Easter!

From Dianne @ DK Elite Enterprises

Fun Video, and a Really Cool Trick...

The Phone Number - Really Cool Trick.. :)
If it Matches your Phone Number....

Then you have to watch my fun Video... Deal?

Ok.. Here it is... Grab a calculator & Try it out,
it may freak ya out a little.. lol

1. Key in the first three digits of your phone number
(NOT the Area code...)

2. Then Multiply it by 80

3. Then Add 1

4. Multiply that by 250

5. Then Add to this, the last 4 digits of your phone number

6. Add to this the last 4 digits of your phone number Again..

7. Then Subtract 250

8. Then Divide that number by 2

See if the answer is familiar... lol

Gotcha!!!! 'Tis Magic.. hee hee..

Now ya have to watch my video...






Was that fun? or what? ... lol

DK-Elite-Enterprises

Fun Joke "The BLONDE Mortician"

Not Quite sure what's up with me, and BLONDE Jokes..
heee heee... :) Now It's Blonde/Grey but shhh...(close enough)

Anyhoo, .... Here it is..

The Blonde Mortician!

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive,
expertly tailored black suit. The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's
wife how she would like the body dressed.

She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow, however, ..... says that she always thought her husband always
looked his best in blue, and that she would like him in a blue suit.

So she gives the Blonde mortician a blank cheque and says,
"I don't care how much it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit
for the viewing."

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her
husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe!

"The suit fits him perfectly" .. She says to the blonde mortician,
"Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and
I'm very grateful. "

"How much did you spend? " To her astonishment, the blonde mortician
presents her with the blank check.

"There's no charge" she says....
"No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!" she says.

"No Honestly, ma'am," the blonde says,
"it cost nothing" .....

You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly
after you left yesterday, and he was wearing a very attractive blue suit.

I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead,
and she said it made no difference, as long as he looked nice.


''So I just switched the heads" ...


Ewwwwww!! , & lucky most blondes are not really that stupid .. ;)

Find out what this blonde is up to here.. ;)
DK-Elite-Enterprises

25 Life Lessons my Mother Taught me.... :)

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, please do it outside.
I've just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION .
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC...
"Because I said so! That's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC ....
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,
you're not going to the shops with me."


6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT..
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your dinner ."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM ...
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA..
"You WILL sit there until all those broad beans are gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER
"This room of yours looks like a cyclone hit it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times.. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world
who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...
"You Just wait 'til we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE
"If you don't stop pulling those faces, you are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP ...
"Go & Put your jumper on.... Do you think I don't know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOUR ...
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT!
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You are just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS ..
"Shut that door behind you,.. Do you think you were born in a tent?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM ..
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE
(And my all time Favourite & lucky last) ..
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Go Figure.. LOL .. I did have Four Sons .. and Yes I now know
exactly what she meant!.... And Great Lessons they were.. :)


Dianne @
DK-Elite-Enterprises