Fun Joke - Marriage and Sharing.. lol

"The sharing of marriage"... LOL

An old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries
and a drink.

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half,
placing one half in front of his lovely wife.

He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into
two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of her....

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down
between them . As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger,
the people around them were looking over and whispering.

Obviously they were thinking, That poor old couple...
All they can afford is one meal for the two of them.

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table
and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple.
The old man said, they were just fine - and that they were used to
sharing everything.....

People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite.
She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally
taking turns at sipping on the drink.

Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy
another meal for them.
This time the old woman said
"No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything."

Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with
the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady
who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked

"What is it you are waiting for?"

She answered ......


"THE TEETH."



Nothing like sharing everything, aye? ..
How sweet.. lol

Blonde Moment and Jokes.. 'Coz I can...

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at
2am in the morning. ......

The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone,
listened for a moment And said
"How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.

The husband said, "Who was that?"
The wife said, "I don't know........
Some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."

AND ....................................

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.

She proudly says, "Go ahead, and ask me, I know all of them"

A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?"

The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."

* OH to be blonde aye! ... lol

Dianne @ DK Elite Enterprises

Fun Joke, Guess you had to be there.. lol

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous
redhead sitting at the next table.

He has been checking her out since he sat down,
but lacks the nerve to talk with her.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying
out of its socket toward the man.

He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air,
and hands it back.

"Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops
her eye back in place.
"Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says.


They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards
they go to the theatre followed by drinks.

They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams
and he shares his. She listens.

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like
to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast.

They had a wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooks him a gourmet meal with
all the trimmings.

The guy is amazed.
Everything had been SO incredible!

"You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman.

Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"


"No," she replies. . .



Wait for it. .....




The suspense is killing you, isn't it? LOL

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She says: "You just happened to catch my eye."




DK-Elite-Enterprises

Happy Mothers Day! :) A Great Joke Especially for All the Mums'

THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES LOL ...

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car

and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take music

or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 3 kids;

keep his assigned house clean,

correct all homework, and complete science projects,

cook, do laundry, and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough money.

In addition, each man will have to budget in money

for groceries each week.
Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends

and relatives, and send cards out on time--no Emailing.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment,

a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the A & E.
He must also make biscuits or cakes for a social function.

Each man will be responible for decorating his own assigned house,

planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep

and all chores are done.

The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily,

adorn himself with jewellery, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes,

keep fingernails polished and eyebrows groomed.

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe

abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme,

unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down

from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time

at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

They will need to read a book to the kids each night and in the morning,

feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 8:00 am.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks,

and each father will be required to know all of the following

information:

Each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size

and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth,

and length of labour, each child's favourite colour, middle name,

favourite snack, favourite song, favourite drink, favourite toy,

biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

All the above must be completed whilst working in either full time

(preferably) or part time employment to assist in the financial input

for the family.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.

The last man wins only if... he still has enough energy to be intimate

with his spouse at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over

and over again for the next 18-25 years eventually earning the right

To be called Mum!

LOL, I'm sure most Mothers' can relate to that one..

Hope you had a great Mums' Day!! Every day should

be Mothers day .. :)

HAPPY EASTER TO ALL ...

Hope Everyone, had a Fun, Safe & Happy Easter!

From Dianne @ DK Elite Enterprises