(although if you asked a 12 year old, they would think so)
I thought these were funny!
It's scary when you start making the same noises
as your coffee maker .....
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An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and
told her preacher she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated and second,
she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
"Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed!!
"Why Wal-Mart?
"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me
twice a week"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My friend quietly confided to her best friend that she was
having an affair.....
She turned to her and asked, "Are you having it catered"?
And that, my friend, is a sad definition of 'OLD'!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman,
"And what do you think is the best thing
about being 104?" the reporter asked.
She simply replied, "No peer pressure"
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Know how to prevent sagging?
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
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I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club
and start exercising....
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down,
and perspired for an hour.
But, by the time I got my leotards on,
the class was over.
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THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to
run into the ones I do, and
the eyesight to
tell the difference.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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