Nursery Rhymes but not as we know them ... LOL

You have to be old enough to appreciate these...

If you don't understand, it is because you are too young. 

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, 

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. 

All the kings' horses, 

And all the kings' men. 

Had scrambled eggs, 

For breakfast again.. 

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Georgie Porgy pudding and pie, 

Kissed the girls and made them cry. 

And when the boys came out to play, 

He kissed them too 'cause he was gay. 

******************** 

Hey diddle, diddle, the cat took a piddle, 

All over the bedside clock. 

The little dog laughed to see such fun. 

Then died of electric shock. 

******************** 

Jack and Jill went up the hill 

To have a little fun. 

Stupid Jill forgot the pill 

And now they have a son. 

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Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.
******************** 

Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair. 

Said Simple Simon to the pie man, 

'What have you got there?' 

Said the pie man unto Simon, 

'Pies, you dumb ass' !! 

******************** 

Mary had a little pig, 

She kept it fat and plastered; 

And when the price of pork went up, 

She shot the little bastard 

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Definitely not how I remember them at all .... LOL